WARNING: Anything posted in this forum is fair game for flame! If you are looking for support, take it to the support forums| Topic Review (Newest First) |
| 07-28-2015 07:29 AM | |
| Annie |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pudin
View Post
If you had said something and she had stayed home she would have blamed you for ruining the trip. Sometimes you have to let the cards fall as they may and then go in and clean up the pieces while biting the hell out of your tongue.
I hope she recovers quickly. |
| 07-23-2015 10:30 PM | |
| The Church Lady |
Glad they got a flight back but don't get caught up in being right-even though you were. Your mil is an adult and it was her choice. Your sil seems to have her priorities messed up. Why didn't your mil discuss how she was feeling with her doctor? Ignoring those kind of symptoms especially after a heart attack isn't wise. Makes me think she was afraid the dr would tell her she couldn't go which makes me think you weren't going to get her to stay here even if you politely discussed it with her. Sometimes you just need to say your piece and step back and let the chips fall. |
| 07-23-2015 09:51 PM | |
| strangest angel | You can't be responsible for everyone. You tried your best. And you were right. Your SIL is a raging cunt. @tiddlywink |
| 07-23-2015 07:43 PM | |
| PunkassPie |
UGH, what a mess 
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| 07-23-2015 02:07 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
She had surgery on Sunday. Was supposed to come home yesterday. Dh changed his work travel to get them at the airport. Sil left Sunday to continue her trip and is enjoying beautiful Italy. I'm sure it's cause she's very concerned for her mom  Ambulance transported her to the airport Wed, they got to to ticket counter and it turned out Air France didn't have room for her after all. Dh is so stressed. They are coming home today, any minute now. I seriously can't believe sil didn't escort them home. Fil is a mess at this point and dh is worried sick. |
| 07-20-2015 02:21 PM | |
| LaughingCow |
You were right. And I'm sorry they didn't listen to you. But your ILs are adults. Think of it as letting your grown kids make their own decisions and mistakes. Have to do that with the ILs, too. Even though they are doing some stuff that is kind of dumb. |
| 07-19-2015 08:33 PM | |
| Twinklestars | Any updates? |
| 07-17-2015 05:44 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
Aaaaaaannnd she's been in the ob/gyn ward this whole time. They hadn't considered getting her medical records faxed over prior to surgery (now scheduled for Sunday).... His dad is starting to crumble over the language barrier and boredom. I want to fly out there myself and take care of business. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| 07-17-2015 02:35 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
Quote:
Originally Posted by SquigSoup
View Post
Maybe your SIL is a raging bitch, but it could be that she is concentrating on things within her control like croissants and hotels because she's feeling overwhelmed with guilt about your MIL. People process things in different ways.
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| 07-17-2015 02:34 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julez
View Post
Next time, just relay your concerns to the person.
I imagine that they would be out a lot of money if they cancelled the trip and maybe that pushed her into going. MIL is a big girl, She made the decision to go. FIL was a witness to the state of her health and so was SIL. You should have no guilt and even if DH had said "maybe you shouldn't go" that would have stopped her from going. I hope her surgery goes well. And it's true, I would hate to have stated my mind and gone down in history as the person that ruined their 2015 Italy trip. |
| 07-16-2015 01:00 PM | |
| Pudin | If you had said something and she had stayed home she would have blamed you for ruining the trip. Sometimes you have to let the cards fall as they may and then go in and clean up the pieces while biting the hell out of your tongue. |
| 07-16-2015 09:25 AM | |
| Julez |
Next time, just relay your concerns to the person. I imagine that they would be out a lot of money if they cancelled the trip and maybe that pushed her into going. MIL is a big girl, She made the decision to go. FIL was a witness to the state of her health and so was SIL. You should have no guilt and even if DH had said "maybe you shouldn't go" that would have stopped her from going. I hope her surgery goes well. |
| 07-16-2015 08:38 AM | |
| Zea |
You're so darn nice, Squig. 
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| 07-16-2015 05:53 AM | |
| SquigSoup | Maybe your SIL is a raging bitch, but it could be that she is concentrating on things within her control like croissants and hotels because she's feeling overwhelmed with guilt about your MIL. People process things in different ways. |
| 07-15-2015 10:16 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
Thank you guys  I talked to dh tonight about me being free to speak my concerns directly next time so that I can have no regrets. I definitely hate the feeling that I'm not being listened to. I don't know why it's such a 'thing' with me, but it def is. My sil sent out an email this morning about how she was enjoying croissants and cafe au lait and looking for a fancier hotel and I swear I thought I was going to explode. I'm worried to death about her mom and she's concerned with pastries and hotels |
| 07-15-2015 08:48 PM | |
| REDSOXMAMA |
Sometimes you have to just file away that you were right in a case like this. No one is going to tell you were right because that would mean they were neglectful. If you want to be more forceful about your concerns in the future you can do that. What you can't do is say "last time I told you nobody listened to me" because then you are reminding them of the fact that they didn't push the issue to make sure she took it easy. You were right. They were wrong and hopefully they will take her health issues more seriously. I hope her surgery goes well. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| 07-15-2015 07:50 PM | |
| tiddlywink | The problem is that if I were to say my concerns directly, it would prob be poorly received. They all just tiptoe around everything. But i might just have to start being my direct self. IMO this could have and should have been avoided. I'm mad that dh didn't say anything bc somewhere inside I feel like he's partially responsible for this disaster bc he didn't state the obvious. |
| 07-15-2015 07:16 PM | |
| PunkassPie | I think he knows it but maybe he can't say it. I love that you are so caring about your MIL. You always hear from people who dislike their MIL but it's nice to see someone who is really looking out for her. |
| 07-15-2015 06:18 PM | |
| tiddlywink |
I'm being really immature So dh and I are having a series of arguments about my in-laws. We don't argue much, but when we do, 99% of the time the subject matter is my in-laws. My mil, fil, sil have been planning a trip to Europe. I got over the fact that my inlaws were paying for a 3 week vaca for sil's family even though sil's family is massively wealthy. Then, 4 weeks ago mil had a heart attack. I talked with dh about the trip and voiced my concerns about her going so soon post heart attack (4 weeks). My concerns were wholly ignored. Then, last week, I talked with mil causally and she mentioned that she hadn't been feeling well for 2 weeks - very fatigued, lots of aches & pains, etc. she had gotten her note from her doctor stating that she had no travel restrictions so she was happy. I gently talked to dh about how she wasn't feeling well (it was 10 am, 68 degrees and she was dripping with sweat), and that she mentioned that she can only stand for 15 minutes at a time so she was trying to find a good traveling stool. I voiced my concerns about her health again, and was dismissed. We were all at a family wedding the day before they left and she was saying how much she didn't feel good. And that it was 97 degrees where they were going, etc... I asked dh if he thought she was overly worried about letting down sil and maybe needed someone to say "hey, maybe you really shouldn't go" Nope. So, they left Monday morning and 5 hrs into the flight she got dizzy, fell down, and broke her leg. She's in a hospital in Paris and can't have surgery until Saturday bc they have to wait for the blood thinners to wear off. All I want to hear is "you were right and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you" Srsly, that's all I want. But I don't want to tell him to say it, I want it to come from him. I'm sure I'm being g ridiculously immature. I feel badly for him that his mom is so far away and that he can't be there. I worry something will happen in surgery and that she won't be ok. |
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