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| 11-09-2015 07:59 AM | |
| strangest angel |
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScubaDiva
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/couldn't. We weren't allowed to blow dry our hair or wash it everyday even if it needed it.
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| 11-08-2015 08:05 PM | |
| betholio |
I'm not an alcoholic and I don't pal around with a bunch of alcoholics so the boys have a much more stable life than I did. I keep a closer eye on them. My childhood was more free range and that hurt me a few times. My Mom was always very affectionate to me and never shut up about how fabulous I was. I model that behaviour because I think it helped me develop confidence and love in my life. |
| 11-04-2015 05:27 AM | |
| Lorrie | More strict. My mom had me 12 years after her last child. She was totally done with parenting and I could basically do anything. |
| 11-03-2015 11:57 PM | |
| Dixie Wrecked | At this age, I feel like I'm a little more lax than they were when I was in middle school. In high school, they became completely embroiled in their own problems (impending divorce) and my siblings had already moved out and they were kind of done, so I intend to be more involved than they were when my kids are in high school. |
| 11-03-2015 07:59 PM | |
| stains | Well. I yell a lot. Which my parents did and I am actively working on that. But as far as strict goes? I am a lot looser than my parents. I plan on sticking that way through them getting older until they ruin my trust. Not to say I won't give them rules. But my parents I feel, didn't trust me BEFORE I had a chance to "ruin" it. KWIM? |
| 11-03-2015 07:03 PM | |
| dubby |
My Father was super strict, but he worked a lot, and when he was away my "mother" partied with her boyfriends, so she didn't care what we did. So it was just this inconsistent mess. I am a little more hardline than g, but we mostly agree to respect their freedom and privacy as long as they have earned it ie.,we don't impose any particular limits unless they cross an invisible line.  I say invisible because they haven't crossed it yet, they are good, solid kids. *knocks wood feverishly*Aside from adoring them, my main thing is to be consistent and steady, rather than either permissive or strict. |
| 11-03-2015 04:13 PM | |
| silentjen |
more strict in some ways more lax in others |
| 11-01-2015 07:24 AM | |
| Annie |
My youngest (18) had a party for 20 of her *closest* friends recently, when I was gone for the night. She was supposed to have just one friend sleep over. She got busted by her dad who knew I was gone, came back early from a business trip and did a drive by of the house. Went in, busted up the party, took everyone's keys and stayed over on the couch. He grounded her as well. When I got home she and I had a talk about responsibility and trust etc etc, but I'm less inclined to ground an 18 year old. At one point she was crying and said "I'm so sorry I disappointed you, but I'm not sorry that I had the party because it was fun!?  Maybe I should re-think this grounding thing even if she is 18.  OTOH, her dad agreed to not tell the other parents at her request, but I said fuck that and told them all. |
| 11-01-2015 07:16 AM | |
| Annie | I think about the same as my parents, but I'm definitely the more laid back parent vs my ex, who is more conservative and stricter in general. |
| 10-30-2015 07:51 PM | |
| wren |
Quote:
Originally Posted by PunkassPie
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Oh good, glad to see someone else is torturing their kid
. H keeps asking me why I have to be at everything? Um, I didn't have kids just pass you in the hall, I'm going to be at things you do because I'm interested in you kid!I told Jack I would get to work right away on that heroin addiction I've been toying with so that he can have the dysfunctional childhood he's always yearned for.
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| 10-30-2015 07:07 PM | |
| turkeyjoe |
My mother wanted to know: where, with who, when you would be home. And, you had to wake them up and check in when you got home. Dad's house: "Have fun" We are somewhere in between, closer to mom. |
| 10-30-2015 06:29 PM | |
| PunkassPie |
Quote:
Originally Posted by wren
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Funny story some of you may have heard...the other day we were having a little throw down with the teenager about teenager stuff. He said, "I'm sick of this stupid functional family that wants to DO STUFF together and wants me to DO STUFF with them!!"
  I talked to his guidance counselor today and she said that's actually a new one for her in her 20+ years working with high school kids. . H keeps asking me why I have to be at everything? Um, I didn't have kids just pass you in the hall, I'm going to be at things you do because I'm interested in you kid!
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| 10-30-2015 06:12 PM | |
| Naomi | I think I'm pretty similar. Though, I mean, my parents never yelled at me for my failure to bring my cell phone with me and fucking turn it on so I could return their texts (IS THAT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK?) when stuff I was doing ran 20 minutes overtime. |
| 10-30-2015 05:59 PM | |
| "Kate" is available |
My mom wanted to be my friend, so I did whatever I wanted with no guidance at all. My friends were jealous that I had no rules in my house, but that's actually a really scary feeling for a kid. Since I was a really responsible person, I'm still parenting her, 50 years later. I make parenting decisions based on what my end goal is. Do I want to keep my kid safe? Teach them independence? Give them a skill they'll need in life? The answer to those questions guide the rules I set. |
| 10-30-2015 04:14 PM | |
| wren |
Funny story some of you may have heard...the other day we were having a little throw down with the teenager about teenager stuff. He said, "I'm sick of this stupid functional family that wants to DO STUFF together and wants me to DO STUFF with them!!" I talked to his guidance counselor today and she said that's actually a new one for her in her 20+ years working with high school kids.
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| 10-30-2015 04:12 PM | |
| wren |
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScubaDiva
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/couldn't. We weren't allowed to blow dry our hair or wash it everyday even if it needed it.
Isn't that just so fucking weird? My mom had similar random rules that were nonsensical in hindsight and were less about raising us right than keeping control. If we asked for something we needed the answer was always "no" regardless of what it was. For example, I begged my mom to take me to a dermatologist for my acne. No. But if something were her idea, then there was no refusing. In hindsight she parented exclusively for the fulfillment of her personality disorder. I don't do that. Every rule we have has a solid reason behind it. We try to follow through on what we say we're going to do, be it rewards or consequences or just "I'll be there at 5pm to pick you up". I want our kids to be able to know that if we say we're going to do something they can take that to the bank. I'm sure we put too much emphasis on this stuff and our kids will vow to do things 100% differently once they have kids.
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| 10-30-2015 06:39 AM | |
| PunkassPie |
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyKisses
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About the same, except I had a lot more responsibilities than my kids do.
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| 10-30-2015 04:46 AM | |
| EvilBad |
I actually parent lol Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| 10-29-2015 08:12 PM | |
| Pollyanna | I am more laid back than my Mom. I parent more like my Dad did. We are as strict and have high expectations but prioritize different things. |
| 10-29-2015 02:11 PM | |
| MadCar | My parents were divorced. My dad was strict but fun. My mom was done parenting by the time I came around so I was pretty free range. I am way more involved and my kids are allowed to get involved in lots of activities. I know where they are and who they're with but I am not friends with any of the parents because I don't care to be [emoji14]aranoia |
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